How To Deal With Unexpected Changes

Unexpected changes can sometimes throw you off the rail. Even if you didn’t particularly like a situation, it still is familiar, while the new situation will feel unfamiliar at first.

Just today I had to face such an unexpected change when at work I was taken out of a project I really liked, and into another project I had very negative feelings about. But I was surprised at how well I adapted to the new situation, and found that some techniques I had to use consciously before now ran nearly automatic.

So I thought I’d share with you the process I run through when I get into a situation where I have to deal with unexpected changes. It is especially helpful when changes are brought towards you by circumstances that you have no direct control over.

Accept reality the way it is

At first you may slide into a state of denial, rejection or shock, depending on how severe the changing situation is to you. But before you accept the new situation as-is, you are not able to deal with it in an appropriate way.

This is perhaps the hardest thing to do, since it is not a fully rational process. And as long as you are in a state of denial, you will probably fight reality. My article on how to stop fighting reality can help you to overcome denial and accept your new situation.

I had an easy time with this today, as I had really no time to start thinking about it: I was thrown straight into a training for the new project. But especially if you have the time to think about it, negative thoughts and feelings are likely to arise.

Accepting your new situation does not mean that you have to love it, but simply that you accept the fact that the old situation will not come back and that you somehow have to deal with what is brought towards you.

See if you can - and want to - change anything about it

When you have accepted your new situation, you can look for ways to change it in a way that would make you feel better about it, or to prevent the change at all.

If you find something you could do, decide if you really want to do that. Everything you do has a prize you have to pay, either with money, with work or with possible negative consequences. Decide if you really want to pay that prize.

• If the answer is yes, then go ahead with your plan.
• If the answer is no, then accept that you will not try to change the situation, and go along with it.

This was another easy thing for me today. I had the possibility to ask that I could stay in my old project, or I could simply have refused to change projects. But when I thought of the possible consequences, I decided that a positive relationship to my seniors was more important to me than having my way.

Make the best of it

When you made a decision for the new situation, it is likely that you still have a negative attitude towards it.

But I suggest that you go and make the best of it:

• Look for positive aspects of the new situation.
• See how you can make it a fun thing to do.
• Look for aspects of that work that you feel

This one was harder for me, but since I know that possible personal growth is something that motivates me, I was able to develop an attitude that made me feel more positive about it: At least I would be able to further develop my skills and expand my knowledge on sales.

Get into action

The best thing you can do when you are confronted with something unexpected that you can’t or won’t do anything about is to jump in head-first and get into action.

This is what I was forced to do today, but even when I am not, I do this far more often now than just some months ago.

Getting right into action mode has a lot of benefits that help you in the adaption process:

• You will not have the bandwidth to think negative thoughts, because you are so engaged in your work.
• You inevitably will have some kind of success, and that makes you feel better and motivates you to get on with it.
• You will train yourself for similar situations and will become more positive about possible changes in the future. So eventually you will be able to deal better and better with changing situations.

Visualize success

If you still get overwhelmed with negative feelings or thoughts, you can use a little visualization exercise to put yourself in a more positive state.

Simply imagine the best possible success: What would happen if everything turns out better than you could possibly hope? What would it feel like if you did your very best, and if the change turned out to be the best thing that could happen to you? Get into the situation with all of your senses.

I am more auditorial than visual, so I imagined one of my seniors to congratulate me on my successful start in the new project, saying that I am already performing above average, and encouraging me to further improve my performance. I heard her voice, and finally I was even able to see her smile that expressed genuine joy at my success. I felt a rush of positive emotions: Pride, joy, and - believe it or not - love for my new project. This will certainly give me the boost to make this “dream” reality.

What was the last or most severe change that was brought towards you, and how were you able to deal with it? Share your own experience by either writing a comment to this post, or if you want to talk to me privately, you may use my contact form to tell your story.

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